This week on Product Review Tuesdays, we’re bringing you a nifty spiced dark rum, just in time to save your ass from doing your best air-pirate pose at the summer barbecue: The Kraken Black Spiced Rum!
OK, you’re a car guy. That means other guys just naturally look up to you, a little. You know stuff those other guys don’t. You got a little pimp swagger when you walk down the driveway to the backyard where the cookout has been going off for about an hour already. Fashionably late, but not too late, right? Late enough to ensure some hotties are already laying out on the deck and your entrance won’t be a wasted effort.
Now, they already heard you pull up and park out front, thanks to giving a crack to the pedal before you shut ‘er off. So you got a good head of steam before you even make an appearance. Don’t ruin all your hard work by carrying in a brown grocery bag with a couple sixers in it –– no, you’re gonna need a bottle of Kraken Black, with the label facing forward, hanging by the neck from your hand with the car keys in it.
Yes, Kraken is a spiced rum. No, it ain’t the “Cap’n.” Yes, you can pour a few “Kraken-n-Cokes” for the soon-to-be-swoonin’ ladies and be the hero. Yes, it’s a little spendier than the other spiced rums. No, the few extra bucks won’t kill you. Yes, you’re old enough to think about these kinds of things now.
You can find Kraken (here) and (here). And it’s got a giant squid on the front of the bottle and it’s called Kraken. You’re welcome.
