Just got some slightly disturbing news from a fan in St. Pete, Florida. Fred writes:

“I came across your magazine at a body shop by buddy owns and I had to have it. After calling every Barns and Noble in two counties, I FINALLY found one that had a copy of your magazine in stock and of course it was the only one that they had. So naturally I went over and picked it right up. Once I got home, I noticed that a few pages seem to be missing. I’ve included some pics so you know I’m not just full of shit and making this up. I just bought the mag today. I know the missing pages are of Jelena but that’s not the issue. If B & N is censoring your mag, that isn’t acceptable, if some punk took those pages out, that’s just screwed up…anything you can do about that? If not, it’s cool. I understand, just keep up the good work because your mag kicks some serious ass.


Now, of course the first thing we think is, “Adam Corolla was right –– weird shit happens in two places on the planet: Florida and Germany.” So, following that logic, we’d expect the pages to be torn out by staff of Katherine Harris’ Florida Department Of Wholesomeness And Family Tanning before the copies ever hit the stands in that state.

On the other hand, if we were 15 years old, were forced to live with our parents in a cult town like Ave Maria, Florida and were huge fans of Jelena Jensen, we might rip the pages out of the magazine and stuff them into a copy of Boy’s Life to “read” on the way to church. In that case, we’d consider it a good day at the office and an honest day’s work had been done.

Either way, we’re officially shocked…SHOCKED, we tell you…that this atrocity has been perpetrated on American soil. Fred, we’re here to take care of you, brother. Hold tight –– we’re on our way to Bush, Jr. 2000 Florida to straighten this shit out!

2 Responses to “FLORIDA OR GERMANY?”

  1. My advice: Get the fuck out of there. Aside from Classic Tattoo, Vintage Customs and Pass-a-grill, there ain’t nothing in the 727 area code. Run as fast as you can and never look back.

  2. devilman676 says:

    Hey The Hawk & Buzzard, I think we might know some of the same people.

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