THE HORROR, THE HORROR

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Note: The above puts something good into the world. The below takes it back out.

Welp, if you’ve been following us for the last few weeks, you’ll know that we had been tapped by Chrysler to submit an entry for a blogger contest where they’d post the content we’d produce for a chosen category (here). And brother, if someone dangles a chance to write about one of our favorite things in the whole ENTire world –– the Hemi –– we ain’t hatin’ on it. Hell, we even i

There was a total of 8 bloggers who were asked to enter the pit on this thing: 4 soccer mom minivan types and the rest of us car guys. Hey, we’re realists: we know that, alongside the Challenger, there has to be a freakin’ minivan because that’s just how unfair the world is, but whatever. And apparently, over on the soccer mom side, there was some “skanks” thrown down and some other name-calling and passive-aggressive twitter rants from some mom-jean-wearing husbands and some iced-down haterade being doused, in general. Over a blogger contest. Really.

And since Chrysler had hired a company called Ignite Social Media to run this thing, they got tangled up in the hair-pulling and the bitch-slapping and before they knew it, their contest was in ruins. Actually, we didn’t know anything about all this till yesterday morning, when we got an email from a friend alerting us to the colossal goat-fuck this thing had turned into. But we couldn’t figure out what the big deal was until we heard from Jim Tobin over at Ignite Social Media. Part of his email was this:

“I don’t know if you’ve been following some of the online chatter, but there’s been some drama among a few contestants in the other category. One contestant was disqualified, there have been some angry words, etc. etc. It hasn’t been fun for some of them. Fortunately, it hasn’t impacted the category that you’re in.

Having said that, I feel responsibility for designing and launching a program that’s does what it’s designed to do. And in this case, it was designed to highlight my client by highlighting you and other bloggers in a fun, very positive way. Somewhere along the line, it took a turn from that. While we can’t control what others do, at the end of the day, it’s our promotion.”

And we still couldn’t figure out what had gone so terribly wrong, until Jim got us on the phone and explained that he thought it was all still manageable…until this hissy fit was picked up by the Jalopnik nerds (here). At that point, Jim explained, it was all over.

Whew. What a waste of time. The only dog we had in this fight was a chance to profess our love of the Hemispherical combustion chambered engine that Chrysler first rolled out in mass quantities 60 years ago like John Cusack with a boombox over his head under the window of a chick’s bedroom in front of his ’76 Chevelle. But the soccer moms (and the douchey dudes in the Air Jesus mandals and the lion-tamer shorts who seem to love them) have laid waste to this neat little deal and we just can’t thank them enough for reminding us why we don’t live in the ‘burbs.

But, there’s a silver metalflake lining to all of this. Jim and his ulcer-nursing crew have done right by us in deciding to award all of the entrants with our choice of either a new iPad to give away or a $500 donation to our favorite charity. We decided to give away an iPad.

So, more to come when we get this thing in our cruddy mitts. Once we do, we’ll tell you what we plan to do with it. Till then, on with the regularly scheduled nonsense and as always, thanks for the support.

2 Responses to “THE HORROR, THE HORROR”

  1. Rebecca Sullivan says:

    NICE!
    I was wondering why I couldn’t ‘VOTE’!

    I just love the way you always put something cheeky together with the way you uniquely massage the English language, Dan!

  2. Jeri Rossi says:

    Dan! Stoner!

    How are you?! Last Gasp misses you! Congrats on the new mag, it looks swell. Can we set up distribution with you? I can’t believe we totally missed the first issue!

    Best,
    Jeri

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